I thought it was my duty, as a lingerie shop owner, to put myself in the position of my clients. And that meant baring it all! Here’s what happened …
As I stood in the photographer’s dressing room, in nothing but lingerie, I took a good hard look in the mirror.
It was time.
Time for me to step in front of the lens I’d feared for so long.
Time for me to show the clients who trust me that I can do it, too.
Time for me to prove curvy women can be depicted in lingerie marketing.
Time for me to have a little fun just being me.
It was my time.
And just before I turned to strut my half-naked self on set, a beautiful chalkboard caught my eye. Hung on the wall, it said: “I love …”
And the rest was blank. So I picked up a small piece of chalk, looked myself in the mirror one more time, and slowly, delicately finished the sentence: “… all of me.”
And I walked right out that door.
Deciding To Put Myself Out There
As the owner of a lingerie shop, it makes sense for me to try a boudoir shoot. I’m surrounded by lingerie and women who care enough about proper fit and quality material to pamper their bodies. It’s what I do.
But there’s also this other side of me … the mom, the wife, the professional. The woman who puts everything aside to care for those she loves, and sometimes forgets to show that same love to herself.
As women, we’re so freaking critical of ourselves, and I know this better than most.
I talk to women every single day during their fittings. No matter how beautiful they look in their new or old bra, they still pick on themselves!
I constantly find myself saying: “You’re so freaking gorgeous! Why are you pointing out that tiny little thing? How can you not see what I see?”
But then, when it came time for me to book my own boudoir shoot, my moment in the spotlight, I found myself thinking the exact same way.
I picked on my flaws. I worried about my trouble spots. And I panicked … just a little.
To be honest, I chickened out of booking my first boudoir shoot many times before I finally found the courage to just do it.
And the thing that finally got me to do it was you. I wanted to put myself in the position of my clients and experience the strength it takes to bare it all to someone.
When it comes down to it, I wanted to be as bravely beautiful as you are when you call Pinned Up Bra Lounge.
The Nerves
One the day of the shoot, I was nervous but not nervous.
I was nervous because, as you can guess, getting undressed in front of a camera can be a little nerve-racking, especially when it comes time to drop that robe for the first look.
But at the same time, I knew my photographer, Lindsay Schlick of SchlickArt Photogrpahy & Video, and I totally trusted her.
I also knew my lingerie was perfectly fitted, and Lindsay helped me curate my collection down to the pieces that would translate well on camera.
I was set. Every shoe, backdrop and prop was color-coordinated, and Lindsay even thought of the things I didn’t (like a pump to blow up my soccer ball.)
Of course, I had those critical thoughts that had nothing to do with the lingerie, and everything to do with the body underneath it, just like anyone would.
But, in that moment before I finally stepped out of the dressing room, I took a leap of faith and trusted that I would love myself more if I could just be brave.
The Shoot
And I am so glad I did it.
Because by the time I hit my first pose, I was actually having fun!
I strutted around in my favorite heels.
I felt the fan toss the curls around my face.
I chose pieces just because I liked them.
And I loved every minute of it.
The champagne and Newhall Refinery truffles didn’t hurt, of course!
But I also ended up wearing all pieces I carry at Pinned Up, with the exception of one. So by the time I walked out in my second piece, I was feeling myself!
I knew the lingerie was hugging my body in all the right places, while also giving me a little extra squeeze and lift where I wanted it.
And Lindsay was so fun and encouraging that I was able to get out of my head and stay in the moment.
I was enjoying being the sexy center of attention. I was loving being in my own body.
And that was an experience I’d never trade for anything. In fact, it kinda made me a boudoir junkie because, once we were done, I kept thinking, “When can I do this again?”
The Self-love
What I didn’t expect, however, was how much it would change me in a lasting way.
My boudoir shoot was really a way to spend time just with myself, to see how awesome I am, and to let myself just be me for an afternoon.
And the effects of that day were bigger than I imagined.
Because, when you see that final product, and see yourself exactly the way you are, the only thing that’s left to say is … I’m freaking awesome!
You see yourself differently than you ever have before, and then, because you’ll always have the pictures, you can go back to seeing yourself that way anytime you want. So when I’m down on myself, I can always go back and remember …
I’m freaking gorgeous.
